Accidentally On Purpose Read online

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Accidentally On Purpose

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Copyright

  Accidentally on Purpose

  ©2018, Kaitlyn Ewald.

  Published in United States of America.

  First electronic publication: March, 2018

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  Content Copyright

  Disclaimer: The following eBook is a work of FICTION. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organizations is entirely coincidental. The author does not have any control over and does not assume responsibility for third party websites or their content.

  Cover: Edit done by Victoria Cooper

  Dedication

  For the man of my dreams,

  Thank you for being everything that you are,

  Everything I’ve ever wanted,

  And, everything I never knew I needed.

  “One of the bravest things you’re ever going to have to do, regardless of how much time passes, is love someone implicitly after you’ve had your heart torn to pieces. But, this time it will be different. It won’t hurt you the same. And, if you’re truly honest in your attempt to love someone again, it won’t matter that your heart doesn’t work the same way it did before, because you’ll know the difference between what is real love and what isn’t.”

  -K. Ewald

  Prologue

  Spring, 2017

  Lynn’s grip on her steering wheel tightened into a full white-knuckled stranglehold as she listened to her husband speak from the passenger seat.

  “I just don’t think we should waste any more time doing…whatever this is,” Jake said.

  She glanced at him, her blue eyes widening.

  “You mean our marriage?”

  His dark eyes met hers and he nodded.

  “I’m not in love with you, Lynn. I haven’t been for a long time.”

  Never mind the fact that his tone was so damn cavalier that it made her eyes water. Never mind the fact that he was discussing their marriage so casually, like it was a fling that didn’t mean a thing to him.

  “Are you serious right now? You’re dropping this on me like this? That’s it, you want out, so I have to give up everything I’ve worked for, too?”

  His eyes rolled heavenward, like he was annoyed that she dared to ask.

  “You know this is over. It has been for years. Don’t you want to be happy?”

  Lynn looked back at the road.

  I do want to be happy.

  It’s all I’ve ever wanted…

  It was dark, raining, and she was having trouble seeing before her tears had even started. She hadn’t even realized she was crying until she felt the heat spewing from the vents hit her cheeks. Goosebumps rippled across her skin as the pain finally settled against her bones. Her chest felt like it was on fire as she sucked in a deep breath. Jake stared blankly out the passenger window as they wound around a tight curve.

  “So, who is she?”

  He glanced at her.

  “Who?”

  “I know there’s someone else, Jake. You don’t just wake up and turn your life upside down unless you have something, or someone to do it for. You’re selfish. There’s only one reason you would be willing to divorce me knowing you’ll have to split everything you own. Who is she?”

  The question burned like acid in the back of Lynn’s throat because even though she knew that she deserved better, it didn’t take back years of commitment. Of hard work and lies and blood and sweat and tears.

  It didn’t take back years of being unaccepted by the one person who was supposed to love her unconditionally.

  “I met her online. That isn’t important. What’s important is that we get this figured out as soon as possible so that we can move on with our lives.”

  Lynn felt bile rise up in the back of her throat at his callous words.

  So, there was another woman…

  And, he just expected her to let their marriage go like he hadn’t just told her he loved her the night before. Like they hadn’t been planning a vacation just earlier that week.

  “How can you do this to me? How can you treat me like this, the only person who’s been there for you when you had nothing and no one?”

  Her lower lip trembled fiercely as she asked this. She rubbed a hand over her chest like that could ease the pain, like that could release the pressure she felt behind her lungs.

  “I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I realized that we-you and I- were never going to work. We just aren’t. I still want to be your friend, though.”

  The earnest way he looked at Lynn made her realize that he really had no idea how awful he was. He had no idea how terrible his actions were. Which meant there would be no reason to argue with him. If Jake didn’t understand why what he did was wrong, then why would she waste her breath?

  A trip to the mall had quickly turned into the worst day of Lynn’s life, and no matter how hard she squeezed the steering wheel or how deeply she tried to breathe, nothing helped.

  It felt like everything was closing in around her as she realized that her entire marriage had not only been a lie, but a waste of her love and time. She’d given all the right things to the wrong man, and she was having a hard time wrapping her head around that.

  “You have no idea how bad you’ve hurt me, do you? And, what’s worse, is I don’t think you even care,” She murmured.

  Jake scoffed and threw his hands up.

  “Of course I care!”

  “If you cared about me, you wouldn’t have cheated on me! Or, lied to me! And, if you really cared, you wouldn’t be discussing the end of our marriage as casually as discussing the weather!,” Lynn yelled.

  Jake sat forward in his seat and her gaze shot to his.

  “I gave you whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted it. I did whatever you needed me to. What more could I have given to you?,” She demanded sadly.

  Jake slowly shook his head as he turned back in his seat.

  “Lynn, look out!”

  Lynn’s gaze returned to the road as she realized there was a truck headed right for them. She gripped the wheel and swerved to the right, narrowly avoiding the truck that had weaved into their lane. She screamed as their car slipped on the wet pavement and careened off the road, only coming to a stop after it did a full circle in the field aroun
d them. It took a few minutes for her to blink through the haziness, her lashes coated in mascara and tears.

  “Jake, can you hear me?”

  Her voice came out a pitiful tremble of a sound because even though he’d just spent the last hour tearing her heart to pieces, she’d loved him.

  It was obvious he’d smacked his head on the passenger-side window with the way he was rubbing his temple and muttering to himself. Even then, watching him like that, he was so nonchalant it was almost like the last ten minutes had never happened between them…She’d loved him in the best way she knew how, and now he wasn’t responding to her calling his name.

  His mouth was still moving slowly and he was clearly still dazed when she finally leaned over the console to shake him. Leaning in close so she could hear him better, the one word he repeated like a mantra only served to further break her heart.

  “Ashley, Ashley, Ashley…”

  Hearing her husband ask for his lover while he sat beside her in the car they’d purchased together…In the car they’d spent countless hours in together. With his wedding ring still on, the diamonds sparkling in the moonlight just like the day he’d taken his vows…

  Fuck, but the truth settled over the surface of her skin like the fog floating in the air around them. Her pain tore through the darkness like a tidal wave of agony as she gripped her bare thighs and started to cry in earnest.

  The other driver had obviously called the cops, because some sirens she’d heard off in the distance were now so close they made her ears hurt, but that didn’t matter.

  Nothing mattered to her.

  Nothing.

  “I hate you for what you did to me, but I’m ashamed of what I let you do to me,” She whispered into his dark hair. The words came out slow and steady Slow…and steady…

  Bright lights and unfamiliar voices invaded her space quickly as Lynn was removed from the vehicle, those flashing lights blinding her. Her entire life had just imploded. Her husband lay sprawled across a gurney, his eyes unfocused and bleary. Her car was totaled.

  Their day had ended much like their relationship had, and the irony wasn’t lost on Lynn- a fucking wreck. They were a wreck, she was wreck, and all the broken edges tearing her part from the inside out were just as sharp as the edges of the glass buried in the palms of her hands.

  In a matter of minutes her life had changed completely, and in that moment specifically, it felt like no matter what happened to her from then on out, she would never be the same again.

  Chapter 1

  6 Months Later

  Lynn eyed her friend over her wineglass.

  She was comfortable, with her knees tucked under her and a sweater wrapped around her shoulders. One of her closest friends was trying her hardest to convince Lynn to put herself out there, but she wasn’t so sure it was a ‘smart,’ idea.

  I’m sooo not good at dating.

  “Come on, I want you to meet my brother. I’m telling you, he’s worth it.”

  Lynn slowly shook her head and eyed her friend Jessica like she was insane.

  “Jessica, I’m not in the right place for that. I’ve had shit luck in the men department.”

  Jessica smiled sadly at her over the rim of her own glass for a second.

  “What happened with Jake is terrible. I’m sorry that he hurt you and I know you are too, but do you honestly think it’s necessary to mourn a man who treated you like shit? There’s nothing wrong with moving on babe, especially since he’s already done so.” The truth was a bitter pill to gag on, that was for sure. Jessica was right, and Lynn knew it.

  “I don’t know.”

  Jessica laughed and patted her thigh.

  “Come on, girl. You saw his picture. You know you want to. And, after you guys get married and have babies, we’ll finally be sisters!”

  Lynn laughed, she couldn’t help herself.

  “Okay, it doesn’t work like that and you know it! You’re biased. Not everyone is going to like me just because you do,” Lynn said.

  She glanced around her apartment and sighed. The walls were filled with floral pictures, the furniture was mismatched, but it felt like home. The only place she had left to call home, anyways. Jessica was perched on the window seat next to her, her blonde hair glimmering in the moonlight.

  “You’re amazing. You’re perfect, he’s gonna fall in love with you immediately.”

  “I’m not ready for that. Besides, if he were interested I would have heard from him by now. We’re friends on Facebook, remember?”

  Jessica scoffed and shook her head, her signature smile back in place.

  “You have to put yourself out there! Your car needs a little tune up, right? Why don’t you visit him at the garage and get your foot in the door?”

  Her new car did need an oil change, and Lynn supposed that wasn’t the worst idea in the world…

  “I don’t know. What if he thinks I’m hideous? What if he thinks I’m weird? The stuff with Jake is still so fresh- “

  Jessica leaned forward and placed a hand on Lynn’s thigh.

  “Hey, don’t do that. You’re not hideous, you’re gorgeous, and any man including my brother, would be lucky to have you. You’re so rare in this generation. There aren’t a lot of women out there like you. Same with him, babe. He’s a rare breed. Just go, meet him, and I guarantee you, you’ll see what I’m talking about.”

  Lynn took a deep breath and sipped from her wineglass.The idea of letting another man, including Jessica’s brother, close to her…

  It was terrifying. Never mind the fact that her late husband had cheated on her and basically attempted to throw her away like an old newspaper, but he’d just…disappeared. Up and moved away with his girlfriend like their life together had never happened. Apart from the finalization of their divorce, she hadn’t heard from him or seen him.

  There would never be any resolution for the situation. There would never be any apologies, no forgiveness. She wouldn’t ever be able to actively forgive Jake with the knowledge that he accepted her forgiveness, or even wanted it.

  And, yeah, she’d seen a picture of Jessica’s brother. She’d seen many.

  He was beautiful.

  Every time she saw a picture of him she felt a flutter deep in her belly that went against anything and everything she was actively searching for. It felt bigger than some random ‘blind meeting,’ arranged (without his knowledge, of course) by one of her closest friends.

  It felt…

  Different.

  Lynn didn’t know how well she could handle different, or big, or anything even remotely resembling what she actually wanted. She’d learned the hard way to keep low expectations because much like she’d learned with Jake, you’ll never actually get what you give. She’d given him everything- he’d given her away. So, in reality, would it even be worth it?

  “Jessica, I don’t know.”

  She smiled cheekily.

  “I do. You won’t regret it. Mondays and Fridays are his busiest days at the shop, so don’t expect for him to be able to see you right away. Still, wouldn’t hurt to message him tomorrow morning and see when you can stop by.”

  Lynn sighed and sipped from her glass again.

  “I don’t have a lot to offer anymore. I have a lot of pieces and a lot of edges and I don’t know how well any of them really fit together anymore. Why would you want that for someone you care about?”

  Jessica looked at her glass before she gently nodded her blonde head.

  “Maybe your pieces will fit together with his, and maybe they won’t. Maybe it’ll work out, and maybe it won’t. I have a feeling that it will though, and I think deep down, you do, too.”

  Lynn shook her head.

  “I don’t know.”

  She’d been saying that a lot lately, and she knew she was beginning to sound like a broken record. Jessica narrowed her gaze skeptically.

  “Are you sure? Because, I don’t think it’s him that you’re afraid of.”

  “What do you
mean?”

  “You’re loyal to a fault. If you choose someone, you choose them. Are you sure you aren’t just scared of choosing another someone who won’t choose you back?” Jessica had always been astute.

  And, kind, and sweet, and the most supportive person Lynn could call a friend.

  “You’re right, of course.”

  “I know I am, and it’s okay to be scared. But, I think everything happens for a reason. You know he hasn’t had it easy when it comes to love, either. You just have to trust me. You two are perfect for each other, I’m telling you.”

  Lynn slowly shook her head and sat back, phone in hand.

  What could one little-bitty message hurt?

  “Okay, I’ll do it. But, I’m not making any promises! What man in his right mind would want someone two times divorced with nothing to show for it?”

  “He’s made mistakes just like you, babe. Remember that. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re only human.”

  Lynn knew her friend was right. She knew there was no harm in trying to move on.

  “What if he ghosts me? I just went through that fling with-,” Jessica stopped her with a shake of her head.

  “Message him. See where it goes. I have a good feeling about this, and you should trust your gut. You know it’s always right.”

  Lynn did know that, and she supposed there was no harm in at least conversing with the man. Of course, he was clueless to the vehement match-making being done by his sister, but Lynn knew that Jessica only had the best of intentions. She always did.

  “Okay, you win. I’ll do it.”

  Jessica squealed and clapped her hands together, followed by a quick snap of her fingers.